Is it bad if I’m totally not mentally here right now? I just wanna tan...– Amy, on GTL
*farts loudly* Did that really just happen? Well, I must be sober, you...– Amy, on flatulence
A creep is an inanimate object. I will fight to the death about it.– Amy, on words
There was a question on my music business quiz that asked “What is a mark...– Amy, on hood life
If I were a dog it wouldn’t be frowned upon to pee in someone’s...– Amy, on bodily functions
Oh don’t worry, mom is getting a recording of Laddy mean barking and then...– Amy, on safety part 2
I’m sleeping with a knife bedside so in case someone attempts to break...– Amy, on safety
I am trying to come up with different jobs one can do using a broom stick.– Amy, on her theater project
Please tell me there is a trophy for asshole of the year award, cause I called...– Amy, on dealing with assholes
So I have decided that once I graduate I am going to kidnap Cuppy Cake and take...– Amy, on marrying a dog
I’m drinking a margarita while watching Teen Mom…I think I’ve...– Amy, on her lifestyle
Damn, I guess if I was a superhero my weakness would be internet and my...– Amy Wenzel, on hiding from the dean of her college
Secretly inside, I love cleaning toilets.– Amy Wenzel, on her secrets
Judgement Jaguar, he judges you while he rips your face off– Amy on Judgmental Animals
well I guess Texas and minnesota have something in common and that is a good...– Amy on Basketball
Me: I'm an English major.
Amy: So am I. Actually I failed it. I am the dumbass who failed English 3 times.
It’s supposed to be “needle”, but I drew a tshirt.– Amy on Draw Something
I do not talk to bambi on an everyday basis– Amy on Hunting Laws
Did you know you can high five your face?– Amy on Facepalming
PETERS WANNA SEE MY FETUS?!– Amy on injuries
remember that one time when I took a dump and it felt like I lost ten pounds?– Amy on her digestive system part 2
I pooped blue.– Amy on her digestive sytem
want to know something, i could get the words your name tattooed on my butt, so...– Amy on tattoos
do toilets flush opposite south of the equator?– Amy on different hemispheres
Amy: so you know what i think is deragotory
Amy: when people wear shriners hats that are female because shriners are male and have to do certain things to be considered a shriner
they are wearing it cause its a "fez"
it is a fez.
Amy: well I see it as a shriner hat
and well this person is an asshole and wears a fucking bowtie with the fucking fez
Alex: NO YOU DID NOT JUST INSULT DOCTOR WHO I WEAR A BOWTIE BOWTIES ARE COOL I WEAR A FEZ FEZZES ARE COOL
Amy: you do??
Where’s Nebraska?– Amy on her need for geographical education
I got crabs today.– Amy on Seafood
motto for the next six weeks of my life: C’s for Commencement.– Amy on Grades
I was gonna backpack across Europe after graduation, but then I found out it...– Amy on Geography
Why is there spaghetti on my wall?– Texts from Amy
I want a gorilla costume.– Amy
No, I would not call one of my children wagon. Well maybe it all depends on...– Amy
Andrea: I love you.
Amy : i love you too
can we just get married in canada and raise armadillos as children
and live in a van down by the river